I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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