this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
