I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
