And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
