no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Shame - the story of my life.
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