Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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