I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
