last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
