Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
false alarm. still invincible.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
