My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
