Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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