So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
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