I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize