I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
vagina is talking i cant
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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