how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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