is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
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i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
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i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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