my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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