also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
