She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
