Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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