Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
