this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
