Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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