For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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