Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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