I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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