How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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