I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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