Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
