I'm so fucking centered right now
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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