Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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