Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
