I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
