This girl is more easily done than said...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
