2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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