i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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