i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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