I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Your penis caused this!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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