Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My day in three words: secret purse cake
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
