One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
