It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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