You can't special order awesome
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
