My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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