Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
