can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize