we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
All the doctor said was why
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
