too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
