Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
