You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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