That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
