PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
