I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
