I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
