Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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