Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize