OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
