Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
This is not my ceiling
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize