try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
